Our Newest Addition - KaiLi!

Expanding the Family
After losing my Mom, Linda Head, in February 2013, I saw how family, friends, and the community, provided assistance, support, and comfort.  But during that time, I also saw how many of the duties and responsibilities fell back on the family directly.  My twin sister, Amber Foyt, beared that burden with my father, Bobby Head, for weeks awaiting my arrival from adopting MeiLin in China.  It was that event which planted a seed as to the importance of siblings. Not just in youth as a playmate, friend, and confidant, but during adulthood as a lifelong ally, sounding board, and support network.

I initially saw this as an opportunity to adopt an orphan from Africa, where many times adoption means life or death as opposed to other countries where adoption means a forever home or an institution.  Brandon was more concerned about MeiLin having a sibling who looked like her and could relate to her.  In August 2014, Brandon and I both agreed to adopt another little girl from China and submitted our application.  (While in the midst of this 2nd Chinese adoption process, Gladney made the difficult decision to put their Africa program on hold.  It appears a Chinese little sister was part of God's plan all along.)  We were envisioning a little sister between the ages of 2-5 who could live a self-sufficient life.  Secretly, I dreamed of engineering twin sisters who could grow up together like me and my twin!  But realizing that could draw out the adoption process, we narrowed it down to a little sister within 2 grade levels of MeiLin.

This 2nd adoption process was much faster clocking in at 15 months from application to Gotcha Day!  (It took over three years to adopt MeiLin.)  I was hoping to side-step some of the paperwork since we had already adopted from the same country within the last 3 years.  This was not the case, not even fingerprinting by two different government agencies.  HA!

Finding a Sister
This matching process was gut-wrenching and literally brought me to my knees in prayer on numerous occasions.  This process had been so easy the 1st time through.  Since we were adopting from the Special Needs program, like with MeiLin, all of the precious kiddos have medical needs - some more severe than others.  You can't get a full picture of their medical needs until they are home and can be evaluated.  Even then, there is always the risk that issues arise later in life.

In May 2015, we received our first potential match.  Trying to make a life-long decision which will impact you, your family, and your daughter from 5 pages of information and 8 pictures is the single hardest decision I have ever had to make.  I still feel shame to put into writing that we turned down 5 different profiles.  That means there were 5 kids where we said No.  One in particular I truly felt that God has predestined for our family.  Unfortunately while we were awaiting finalization of our paperwork, she was diagnosed (though unconfirmed) with a possible terminal genetic defect.  That one crushed me.  I still pray for that little girl every night and still feel guilty for the verdict of No.

One of my neighbors, Judy Lee, is a pediatric physician at Children's.  She always jokes that you don't want her as a doctor.  (It means your child has a serious condition.)  Her advice stuck with me.  We are not just adopting a daughter, we are adopting a sister for MeiLin.  If we adopt a terminal child or one who will require life-long care, that is a burden we are passing onto MeiLin.  Most families don't have a choice in the matter.  But seeing the toil and strain it puts on the entire family, she felt it was unfair to knowingly place that burden onto MeiLin.  And we took that advice to heart.

At the end of September 2015, we received an e-mail out of the blue that new profiles had been received from the Jiangxi province and they had a new match for us.  Her code name was Juliet and she was younger than our age range at only 20 months.  She had been abandoned at 6 months old, which is atypical in China.  Because of her age, she wasn't eligible for the Fully Healthy infant program but she had no known medical needs.  I never realized this was a possibility!  Even though she was out of our age range, we agreed to review her profile.  It is funny how we always try to orchestrate things (engineered twins!) and think we know what is best.  But then God steps in with His perfect plan, and we truly can't imagine a more perfect little sister for MeiLin!

Our Newest Addition

Our new little girl's given name is Zhou Rou Ji, but we have chosen the name KaiLi Mae Waldeck [pronounced ki-le].  Mae is after my paternal Grandmother, Annie Mae Hazel Vernon Head, whom passed away when my father was only 16 years old.  I have an old set of Britannica Great Books in our home office, which is a collection of the greatest literary works.  My father used to tell my sisters and I about how she loved literature and bought these hoping to instill this same love into her four boys.  I cherish the fact that I now have this small part of her displayed in my home.

Kaili's birthday is 1/5/14.  I hate that we will miss her 2nd birthday by 6 days, but we will get there as fast as we can!  Gladney has arranged a birthday party for her in our absence.  I am hoping to get pictures and/or videos to share!  

Of course from a celebration perspective, this will be a super busy time of year.  Let's map this out:
12/25 - Christmas Day
12/27 - My Dad's Birthday
1/1 - New Year's Day
1/5 - KaiLi's Birthday
1/11 - KaiLi's Gotcha Day
1/11 - My Brother-in-Law, Walter Foyt's, Birthday (and KaiLi's future God Father!)
1/21 - MeiLin's Gotcha Day
1/27 - Our Niece, Olivia Cantrell's, Birthday
Chinese New Year (date varies)
2/14 - MeiLin's Birthday
2/14 - Valentine's Day

WHEW!

KaiLi is at the Jizhou District Social Welfare institute of Ji'an City within the Jiangxi province.  Her paperwork indicates that she has been at this orphanage since she was found, but some of the Gladney volunteers thought they remembered her with a foster Mom.  It is so hard not knowing what these children have been through.  Prayers that God provides guidance and wisdom to Brandon and me to help this precious child bond and transition into her new life.  If she could only see how much we already love her and the dreams we have for her future! 

Back to China
Fast forward three years and we are headed back to China!  The similarities in our two adoptions are uncanny.  Both times we are traveling in January...their Gotcha Days are just 10 days apart!  Their birthdays are just 5 1/2 weeks apart - MeiLin was about to be 2 when we traveled and KaiLi will have just turned 2 when we travel.  A match made in Heaven!

Initially, we were not going to bring MeiLin with us to China.  She wasn't likely to remember much of the trip and that would give us time to bond with our new daughter alone.  But then we realized that MeiLin is just as much a part of the family as we are.  She could bring comfort and reassurance to this new little girl.  Back to Brandon's initial thoughts...MeiLin will look like her and can relate to her in a way only an adopted sister can.  So we rushed MeiLin's US Passport (our first experience of discrimination) and her Chinese Visa.  We are heading over as a family of 3 and returning as a family of 4!

We once again hoarded our airline miles heading up to this adoption.  Though neither of us travel for work, we took advantage of the various programs America Airlines has offered over the last few years.  When we decided to bring MeiLin, we ended up buying miles during the last special offer to receive additional free miles.  When it was all said and done, we totaled 529,990 miles - let's just call that 530k!  I had visions of First Class grandeur like our first trip to China, but I hadn't accounted for a merger between American Airlines and US Airways.  We ended up using 430k miles just to fly coach since none of the Miles Saver tickets were available. A big shout out to my Aunt, Wanna Wilson, who works for America Airlines.  She has been trying to work magic over the holidays and might be able to get us into Business Class.  Hopefully, we find out tomorrow (Mon, 1/4) since the seats are on an earlier flight to Beijing, which leaves in 3 days (morning of Wed, 1/6/16)!  Prayers are much appreciated!

If Business Class falls through, then we are wheels up on the morning of Thurs, 1/7/16 to Beijing, China.  We will tour the Great Wall and the Forbidden City (MeiLin calls it the castle).  I hate that we missed those on our first trip!  Then it is off to the city of Nanchang, which is the capital of the Jiangxi province.

Gotcha Day!
Our Gotcha Day is on the morning of Mon, 1/11/16, where we get to meet our new daughter/sister for the first time!  The scenarios keep playing through my head.  Will she cry, be scared, smile, hug us?  How will she react that afternoon?  Cry, warm up, look shell shocked.  I can't imagine having my life turned upside down like that.  To leave everyone and everything that you have ever known to go to a place you have never been, with people you don't know, who don't talk in your language.  The trauma that these children have gone through!  I pray that God helps KaiLi process the transition and bond with her new forever family!

KaiLi will be bused in from her home village to the capital city, so we will be unable to visit her orphanage and finding spot.  MeiLin's orphanage in Shanghai presented us with a photo book with pictures throughout her life - many of which we had never seen!  We have truly treasured that piece of her past.  Fingers crossed that we receive something similar for KaiLi, so we help her piece together bits of her story one day.

All Roads Lead to Guangzhou
We will remain in the capital city of Nanchang through the end of the week to finalize the Chinese paperwork.  Then we are off to Guangzhou to the US Consulate where all adoptions are finalized.  Kiddos under 2 have appointments on Monday - they get to go home one day early since TB test are not required.  For those over 2, appointments are held on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.  Since KaiLi will be 2 next week, our appointment is on Wed, 1/20.   We then allow a few days to receive her US visa.  Depending on whether we fly Coach or Business Class, we will either return on Fri, 1/22 or Sat, 1/23.

Preparing for the Trip
We had expected the final Travel Approval to take 2-3 weeks, but it arrived in only 3 business days!  Thus, we are traveling to China 2 weeks earlier than anticipated.  Man, talk about a reality check.  I didn't want to cancel our trip to Houston to visit my sister's family during the holidays, so there has been lots to get done!  I had given away all of MeiLin's 12M-24M clothing in anticipation of an older child.  BLAH!  A big thank you to my support group!  My sister, Amber Foyt, and my Mother-in-Law, Marilyn Shetler, for purchasing clothes for KaiLi for Christmas!  To my cousin's wife, Kim Head, for clothes that were MUCH needed!  And my sister-in-law, Stephanie Cantrell, for offering to take a "size order" from China so we will have additional clothes awaiting our arrival home.  We truly appreciate your love and support for KaiLi!